Why I Dine at the Same Place Every Day
and you don't?
I felt faint after flying 24 hours from USA to Buenos Aires. I had walked 14,000 steps from 7am in 94°F heat to complete errands. I felt energized but faint. To not literally faint ahead of my workout, I had to refuel on carbs, so I ordered a raspberry-pineapple smoothie from a place I had saved from a prior trip.
The place was smallish, the sun was at a low angle in the sky casting a golden glow from tall windows. There is plaster on the walls. Sort of like a messy haircut, it gives texture and quaintness. A plant hanging overhead.
“What's a lightning?” An older lady with blond hair walks up to my table. “My phone isn’t charging. Can you help?” Two blinks of an eye, the issue was fixed. A conversation ensued. She tells me she's the Director of Clinical Psychology at the Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. She tells me she lived by Central Park for 23 years. She tells me she works full-time in Buenos Aires since 7 years. Wait a minute. How does a director of psychology at a major New York hospital get to work in Buenos Aires? That doesn't seem to fit my model of how the world works... I tell her my desire to work in fashion. I tell her I'm going to work with Christopher Bailey. I show her his picture on my phone. “Listen, I have a group that meets every Thursday, in which a person started their own fashion brand. You can drop by if you'd like, I just have to check with the group if it's okay." We exchanged WhatsApp, and as we parted she gave me a final tip: don't say you’re american— because the people here think they’re american. mwah. A kiss on the cheek. The Argentine goodbye.
Pause.
24 hours ago, I was in mid Ohio, staring at gray skies, deserted fields, and lifeless trees. The probability of what's to come happening in Ohio is inconceivable.
But the story doesn't end here.
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I got ghosted. This was on Friday, Mar 7. On Wednesday Mar 12, I sent her a follow-up call. No response.
—
Some things not meant be, Everything has time for me. you believe in fate?
—
Then, I bumped into her again! There she was, huddled in a corner. She sat alone, her bag was out, and her stuff spilled on the table. "Belén!" Our exchange was short-lived. She was in a rush. "Sorry I got a call with a patient. Will text you about that group. We're meeting again this Thursday." Whooosh. I texted her the following day. No response. Dead end. — 6 days later, she sent me a text. Turns out she had a family emergency (a totally valid reason).
Pause.
There was a 20 day gap between when I met Belén and when I went to the group. Some things take time to develop. There is a benefit to extended solo-travel. What's about to transpire is inconceivable on a weekend trip with friends. —
"What does he think about this?"
All ears on me.
I felt like a crown jewel.
They were shocked a young man would crash their geriatric party. —
Quickly, I incorporated the geriatric party into my weekly routine.
— LOCATION. Thursdays at 6pm at a café in Belgrano. FORMAT. A free-flowing conversation moderated by Belén. One-person-speaks-at-a-time, loosely enforced. First 1 hour in French, followed by 2 hours in English, end 30 minutes in Spanish. Since I don't speak Fr, I go for Eng/Sp. FACTS I LEARNED. • Argentines count distance by blocks, not by time • The Spanish word for a stereotype Brit is flemático. There's no English equivalent but it roughly translates to "a composed person" • Women in their 60s know shorthand. In the past, women entering the workforce were trained as secretaries to transcribe speech quickly. PEOPLE. Mostly lawyers, a legal translator, a real estate investor, retiree. All native Argentines, fluent in English. Well-traveled. Ariel is a titanium jewelry craftsman. His clients include Anya Taylor-Joy (who is a Buenos Aires native) and the Queen of Spain. Why is he relevant? Because of my Spanish final exam. Pass it, and I'd move from Beginner to Intermediate. Our mission was to interview a local. Present them and their daily routine to the class. We had 24 hours. While my classmates picked Uber drivers, barbers, friends they met at a bar — I picked Ariel. He's a very interesting man. My presentation was by far the best in the class. And I passed. Though it wasn't a fair competition because I had the help of 7 Spanish speakers.
Pause.
When I chose the name Ariel, there were things I did not know. First, that it meant Lion of God in Hebrew. And as you know, Leo (my first name) also means lion. Second, that it's a crazy popular name in Argentina. For men. Like the jeweler I mentioned. I'll be honest. I was getting frustrated with Ariel. Fed up. Because I'd say "Ariel" and get the response, "like the mermaid?" In fact, I've already came up with an alternative name and began testing it in the real world — to see if I like it and if it's a good fit. However, in Argentina I discovered that Ariel is stereotypical masculine name. So I decided to roll with it. Half the time, I would introduce myself as Leo and the other half as Ariel. And when I'd say Ariel, sometimes I'd get the response "Ah you're from Argentina?" Hm.
Finally, Ethel (from the group) is a 94 year old woman who takes the public bus by herself. She posts daily WhatsApp stories of generic stock-image graphics that spell "Have a great Friday!" — which coming from literally anyone else I would find extremely cheesy — but coming from her it is the sweetest thing ever.
We invented a secret 3-part handshake, and after our 6th time meeting, she told me about her love for Scottish country dance. Yes, she danced well into her 90s. And I went with her group one time to Palacio Balcarce — an old building that was once somebody's home that has a huge tunnel in the lobby for horse carriages.
how do you make this happen?!
— Said my friend after hearing about the story of dancing Scottish country with a 94 year old.
Or broadly speaking, "how does one [let's say, a traveler] make [something like this] happen [for themselves]
This piece was an attempt to answer that question.
Because there was a sequence of events that led up to this event. It wasn't random. Nor was it planned in advance. And it started with my choice to dine at Bio every day after Spanish class.
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Here are three reasons behind the choice:
—I. PLACE I love the quality of the ingredients the variety of the menu the location of the establishment the feel of the ambiance The chefs are creative I love these 6 ingredients make me a dish they will 102 recipes on the website pascua = easter day after Easter vegan pascualina after the Italian dish I didn't try but the fact they make a 1x per year recipe is telling II. PEOPLE Bio is vegan hippie vegan attracts healthy fit who care about their bodies One time I overheard a conversation Operating Systems engineer entrepreneur Dubai meeting for the first time a young couple designers reusable wedding They held 30 weddings world-wide so all friends could come travelers Final days a gentleman late 30s 3 months Uruguay closed a 15y IT-consulting biz to write Boy Scouts Handbook for graduates III. HOME 5k miles 8.5k km away from home Argentina alone no friends nor language Rituals are symbolic techniques of making oneself feel at home They transform being in the world into being at home ~ Byung-Chul Han When I enter Paula asks in her hawkishly bubbly way “The usual?” I order with ¡Si! She knows I disagree with canela in my soup and queso cajú in my ensalada de la tierra Stay long enough and become part of the story Paula's henchwoman graduates and passes the torch to Merlina I was there on her first day — In summary the objective factors the room for serendipity the rituals Do you have such a place? Can you create one? Share below
…so cool Ariel…what opportunities you are finding by just being open to possibility…really rad…